ISI Brotherhood Podcast

128. I Miss the Man I Married: What Your Wife Isn’t Saying (But Deeply Feels).

• Aaron Walker • Season 2 • Episode 13

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The slow drift happens so gradually you barely notice it. One day, you're newlyweds with stars in your eyes, and the next, you're business partners managing a household with the efficiency of a Fortune 500 company – except something vital is missing: that spark of connection that brought you together.

Behind every successful entrepreneur stands a spouse who carries far more than most realize. They're juggling household responsibilities, emotional labor, and often their own career while watching their partner pour everything into building something great. It's not that they don't support the dream; they just miss being part of it.

This candid conversation pulls back the curtain on what your spouse might be feeling but doesn't say. When you check emails during family dinner or bring your mental to-do list to bed, it sends a message about priorities that cuts deeper than you know. "Overwork" isn't defined by physical exhaustion, but by showing up at home with nothing left to give emotionally.

We explore the real dangers of this disconnection – how financial pressure creates a vicious cycle that eliminates the margin for relationships, how intimacy suffers when conversation disappears, and how children absorb these relationship patterns even when we think they aren't watching.

But this isn't about shame or guilt. It's about practical steps to rebuild what matters most. From creating technology-free sanctuaries to having intentional conversations without defensiveness, we offer actionable strategies to help you thrive as both an entrepreneur and a spouse.

Your partner doesn't want to fight against your business – they want to fight for you. Beneath their frustration lies someone who's still cheering you on, waiting for you to see them again. This week, try asking: "What's one thing I can do to make you feel prioritized?" Then, watch what happens when you put actions behind those words.


Download the Spouse Survey mentioned in this episode here: https://www.isibrotherhood.com/resources


Key Takeaways:

  • The slow drift in marriage isn’t dramatic—it’s subtle and happens while you're busy building something that was supposed to serve your family.
  • Your spouse isn’t against your business; they’re just tired of feeling like they’re no longer part of the vision.
  • Bringing your mental to-do list home sends a louder message than you realize: they’re no longer your priority.
  • Disconnection shows up in more than just missed conversations—it impacts intimacy, parenting, and the legacy you’re modeling.
  • Rebuilding the connection begins with small, intentional actions, such as asking your spouse what makes them feel seen and then actually doing it.


Connect:

Speaker 1:

You want to go to her and ask her what is one thing that I can do this week, maybe to make you feel prioritized? Yeah, like, what is one thing that would make you feel special and tell her you're not up to anything, you have pure motives. You're just wanting to reconnect in that conversation. Hey, let me tell you she's really proud of you. She sees how hard you work. She doesn't doubt your love for a moment but honestly, she misses the man she married. She misses laughing together. She misses your presence at dinner and when she sees your tired eyes or your late night emails, honestly it really hurts her that she lets on more about this than you realize. Let me just be honest with you guys. Your wife may miss the man she married.

Speaker 2:

Well, let's also be honest. Most wives of a small business owner are the MVPs because they have to carry the burden of the household responsibilities. In most instances they're more emotionally connected to the kids. They've got to hear us commiserate about the highs and then participate in the highs and the lows of our business, and they have to do all of this and at the same time support us.

Speaker 2:

Many times and that's kind of the more traditional stereotypical would be the husband is out slaying the dragons and the wife is at home. But in many cases the wife is also working but tends to pick up a huge amount of slack. So when they see us on that Zoom call or they see us checking our email or our Slack channel on when we're supposed to be paying attention to the kids game, you know that matters. Or when you know we're sharing the same bed, but emotionally we're detached because our mind is just going through checking off the list. So today we're going to try to talk about that, that she misses you, and try to put ourselves in her shoes, not to make you feel shame, but to help you understand that there is this battle that's often happening behind the scenes with our wives who are trying to stay connected to us when that is a challenge.

Speaker 1:

You know, seth, I tried to get Robin to come on and host this and she said, no, I don't want any part of that. She probably would have ripped us up pretty good. But this will help you. If you'll pause here, go back and listen to last week's episode on you working too much, it'll make more sense. This is kind of a sequel that we're doing and we're trying to present this from her perspective and what she feels. But doesn't say Now, honestly, some of you are newly married and your wife is not going to be as outward spoken as some of the wives would be a little more seasoned, seth, you're over 30 years, I'm over 45 years. They're going to be more vocal today. You don't even have to ask them anymore, right? They just jump in. They're going to tell you exactly what she feels. But sometimes she feels a certain way, but she doesn't want to say. She says I don't want to complain, but I don't want to compete with your business either. Yeah, have you ever had that dialogue with Helen?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and it's not just I don't want to compete with your business. It's like I don't think I should have to compete with your business.

Speaker 1:

There's even the framing of they feel a sense of competitiveness though, for sure, because we spend so much time in our businesses.

Speaker 2:

And time is the one thing we can't get any more of. And, at the end of the day, our intentions are wonderful, but how we actually show up, right and so when we're distracted and we're unavailable and she feels like she's second to everything else, it's hard. And what's interesting about most wives is they'll actually direct us to be more engaged with the kids before they will talk about their own needs, right and so, so they can put themselves last. And that's a real danger for us, because if we think that that's okay, because they're not complaining, we're actually building up some resentment that'll bite us in the butt later.

Speaker 1:

She may be becoming apathetic. And if you become apathetic and you don't care any longer, that's really hard to get that momentum back in your emotional tank and your emotional relationship. Here's what's, for me, difficult, and I'll just be the first to say it. You can jump in if you want, but sometimes when I get home at the end of the day, you know we have 150 men in our organization so I'm always putting out fires or there's something that somebody I'm having to deal with or I'm coaching or leading a mastermind.

Speaker 1:

And when I get home at night, sometimes I'm just tired and I want to sit back and I emotionally check out completely. And Robin goes hey, tell me how your day went. I'm like I don't want to tell you how my day went, can I just sit here and watch Jesse Waters on Fox News or something, just for an hour. And by that time like I'm tired and I'm ready to go to bed. And she's like, hey, what about me? Like I'm sitting over here, like and I'm just being totally candid, and it's something that over the years that we've had to work through, where I've had to leave enough in the tank when I get home that she's not getting my leftovers.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and she fights for it, sorry. Tim Keller said something that hit me in a devotional he talked about overwork, and that's not a phrase that you hear very often is overwork. And so what you just described right, there is our tendency to overwork, and somebody said well, what is overwork? Is overwork to the point you fall to your knees and you can't make it back to your car to drive home? No, overwork is when you show up at home and you got nothing left, right, couldn't you have? You know, maybe couldn't, we couldn't.

Speaker 2:

I have found a different way to work, where maybe during the day I'm taking little walks, or maybe I'm making sure I'm doing the kind of work that gives me energy, so that by the time I get home, you know I'm not a lump, right, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm still available to be, you know.

Speaker 2:

And the danger is you start to say, well, we'll do that on the weekend, right, I'm gonna grind all week and then do that in the weekend. It's the old 80s song Everybody's working for the weekend, right, but I don't think that's ideal. And at some point the wife's like, hey, I'm tired of carrying this alone, I'm doing all the administrative, all the dentist appointments, all the trips to soccer, and some of us are comfortable with that when we step back and we're like well, listen, I've got so many big responsibilities because I'm kind of a big deal, could you please handle all the household stuff and I don't really want to be bothered with it. Now, if I'm honest, that's how I feel. Sometimes it's like I don't want to do the administrative stuff. I don't enjoy it, but it's a courtesy and it's a, it's an empathy and it's a human thing to engage at that level with her.

Speaker 1:

I don't know. You know it's really helped with Robin and I overcome this and get to a good spot, and I feel like today we're in a good spot. Hopefully it won't take 45 years for you guys to get in a good spot, and I feel like today we're in a good spot. Hopefully it won't take 45 years for you guys to get in a good spot, but it's just having open dialogue without defending your position Right. And so Robin and I started learning to do this. Just where are you at? What needs to be done, how can I help? And sharing the responsibilities that I have the next day. That can often lead to an argument. It's like, well, hey, there's no time for me, or there's no time, and you're like you know what? I see that now and there's some things I'm going to have to move around.

Speaker 2:

So you do that the night before Big A?

Speaker 1:

Not every night, but often when my children were at home. We did it much more frequent. Today we're empty nesters and have been for 20 years, so it's not been a source of contention. Robin really enjoys her role and I'm glad you asked that question because I want to get into this for a second. This doesn't work for everybody, but it works for us, and so that's what's important. You've got to figure out you, the listener. You've got to figure out what works in your relationship.

Speaker 1:

Robin loves to maintain the home. She loves it, and some of you guys are going to be jealous when I tell you what I'm about to tell you. I don't cook and I don't wash. Robin does all those things. She takes care of the groceries. I never have to wonder. I don't know if I've ever been to the grocery more than six times in our marriage because she wants to do that. That's her role. She's not worked outside of the home our entire marriage and so a lot of those responsibilities she owns and she wants to do right. I'm a kept man. To be honest with you, seth, just to be honest. My wife takes care of me. It's incredible.

Speaker 1:

The place that I failed was some of the responsibilities with the children. Like she was good with doing her role at the home, but when it came to the children there were things that I messed up on early, like I missed some things early in their lives. Fortunately, she brought that to my attention when one day she showed up. She said I feel like a single mom, like thank you for all these things that you're doing, thank you for our nice home and all those things, but honestly there's some things that I want you to really get involved in more with the children and I was able to do that. But my point in all of this is just the communication I think is paramount. Where we get in trouble and I coach guys all over the world where I get in, where I see guys get into trouble is they want to defend their position and you can't defend your position, you just got to share openly. Here's the other thing that goes hand in hand with this and then I'll be quiet for a moment is that you've got to do things with the right motive for the right reason.

Speaker 1:

I tell a little story that Robin went on a trip with her girlfriend. She came back. I'd cleaned up the house, I'd washed the clothes, cleaned the dishes. The house looked like a museum and she didn't notice, and so I was sitting on the couch. She goes, what's wrong with you? And I said nothing. She goes no, I know you what's wrong with you. And I said, well, I did. And I listed off all the things that I did. She said, well, I have a question. And I said, okay, I was expecting her then to say you did a good job, what was your motive?

Speaker 1:

So what do you mean? What was my motive? She goes, did you do that? And I said, robin, to be honest with you, I wanted you to say good job, she goes. If you would do things here to help me because I needed the help, I would recognize it a lot earlier, and so it really helped reframe things. Now I do things for Robin and have for the past 20 years without even telling her, and she notices twice as fast because she knows my motive is pure. So what we've got to do is have the right motive when we're doing these things for our spouse, and it goes back to doing the goofy things that you did when you were dating. We need to never quit dating. We need to do those things for our spouse ongoing. It's what got them won over to you and we need to not stop doing those things.

Speaker 2:

So let me make sure I'm hearing this. So when I clean the house, when she's gone for a couple of days and she comes back and the house is immaculate and there's a candle burning and there's soft romantic music in the background, I think you have a different motive, that's a dead giveaway that there's a problem. That's a dead giveaway.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

That's a dead giveaway. We know what your motive is there Insights, that's probably not going to go well for you either.

Speaker 1:

Just saying but you know, here's the bottom line is we need to be sensitive to both roles. Yeah, they need to be sensitive to our role. We need to be sensitive to their role. They have a lot. And here's the thing you said it earlier and I'm glad you said this. It and I'm glad you said this it may be reversed. You know, the career wife may be out there crushing it, and so you'll have to play these roles whichever way it fits for you. We're not saying that all women are at home. That's not true. And the thing that really complicates it is the dual career. And she is still carrying more of the load.

Speaker 2:

That really makes it difficult? Yeah, because naturally they tend to. They do that. You know this kind of fits in this. You know to kind of land. This point is there's this opportunity to have a conversation with your wife. Say, you know, maybe on date night come up with three questions and this cry of hey, I miss the way it was early on, I miss the way you were before you got all obsessed about, you know, work and life and busyness, and maybe sit down and ask three questions Like what are three things that you miss from the early version of you know, when we first got married? And that would be a great conversation to have on a date night.

Speaker 1:

You know, without being defensive, you know if we have ears to hear, excuse me, Seth, I want to say something that goes back, and I keep reiterating this, and I know from past experiences personally, as well as the people I've coached over time we miss the daily decisions that we make every single day. Now that creates this havoc for us in the future, and some of the things that I want to mention is keeping up with the Joneses is very difficult, and it's a real thing, though, for people in regards to the automobile that they drive, the house that they buy, they're over leveraged. They go out and buy too much car, too much house, take too many trips, buy too many tangible possessions, and now they do have the golden handcuffs. They have to work twice as hard, so there is no margin, and so it forces the communication to go by the wayside, because all we can concentrate on is making enough money to pay for the things that we've leveraged, and so really do the Dave Ramsey. People don't like to hear that, but it is true. Buy the things that you can afford. Now, I'm not anti-mortgage, that's not what I'm talking about but you can buy something and mortgage it to a place that's comfortable, where there is still margin.

Speaker 1:

And I just told my granddaughter she got married a year ago and I told her. I said Abby, listen, I want to encourage you to do something early. And she really adheres to advice. She's done it all through her teenage years, through her college years. I said take 20% of what you make, put it aside, put it up, act like it doesn't exist.

Speaker 1:

And she's accumulating like none other. I mean, she's now 23 years old and she's doing that and they have margin and even after just a year marriage they're in a really good position because they're living on less than they make and they have margin. And even after just a year marriage they're in a really good position because they're living on less than they make. And I want to encourage those that are listening today to really evaluate what you're doing and think about those aspirations in the future. Is it something really that you can do, that you can afford, that will still allow margin? And if it is, continue on, if it's not reorient your focus, think about your aspirations, your goals, temper those back a little bit so that you can continue to have margin as you go forward.

Speaker 2:

Big A. I agree with everything you just said. But when you're saying that, that feels to me like somebody who's got a decent salary if they'll just use their money wisely and make good choices, like that to me is kind of a no-brainer. I'd like to think that I could do that, but the reality is, you know, I've been in situations where I could have paid off everything multiple times and have, but then I go right back into businesses that I got. You know, maybe the issue is not that I bought a you know a Mercedes when I should have bought a Chevrolet. It's that I hired 10 people when I should have hired two. But it's the same pressure. It's the oh my gosh, I got to make this happen and everything at home sacrifices. So we need to kind of pull this back to track.

Speaker 1:

We do, but I don't want to leave this without this not being said. The thing is, is what gets us in most trouble is we want it too fast. We're not willing for delayed gratification. Yes, and so you can grow that business, but you could have grown it with two people, then four people, then 10 people, not zero to 10 people. Now you've got all this level of stress because you wanted the outcome sooner.

Speaker 2:

Right and you might have been aiming for the wrong thing. Which will get us back on track, meaning if we say, listen, I can have whatever success is available to me so long as I don't lose my marriage, so long as I'm not unavailable for my wife, and so let's talk a little bit about what happens. Is this slow drift to what we call this disconnection, right when this? In some instances there's this numbness and there's just kind of surviving. It's just such a grind that I'm just trying to get through you know the day or the week and you might not even notice it. You know, everything seems fine on the outside, but internally, like there's something boiling and every now and then it comes up and there's this huge, you know issue. Right?

Speaker 1:

You, and every now and then it comes up and there's this huge issue. Right, you know it's because we don't take the time each and every week to deal with the small issues and then they compound, and then they come out, and early in our marriage that would happen One little thing would lead to the next little thing and then all of a sudden, one day Robin would blow up and I'm like where in the world?

Speaker 2:

What in the world are you talking about?

Speaker 1:

And she's like then she does a recount. Well, you did this. It's like, instead of weekly, the date night. That's why it's important. Somebody asked me if I did a date night now. I said yeah, every night. We haven't had kids for 20 years and so every night feels like a date night, you know. But I would just say that you need to ask the question proactively and you're like Big A, are you serious? I did what's called a spouse survey and we'll put that in the show notes and you can download that for free and you can take the spouse survey One of our clients uses it quarterly on a date night to where he sees if they're in alignment.

Speaker 1:

Oftentimes we find out we don't even want the same things. We don't even know what's important to the other person. We don't even know how we can help. We don't know the little things that we're doing. Robin came to me not long ago and she goes there's something that you do that frustrates me. And she told me and I said you know what, robin, I'm going to really make a conscious effort at doing better at that. I didn't realize I did it. Thank you for telling me, and it created an atmosphere that I showed that I was interested in and honestly I'm not even gonna say what it was. I thought it was ridiculous but it was important to her and so I started doing that and it makes all the difference because we're now open, where we share those little things. But it's how you share it, it's not like letting it blow up and that slow drift, I'm telling you it's real and it happens so slowly. It's the frog in the kettle slowly.

Speaker 2:

But you need to be proactive in that it's interesting that you just told that story, because I had something that my wife does. It's very small, very important. It's important to her. I'll just tell you what it is, she won't mind this one.

Speaker 2:

I like the house really quiet, especially in the mornings, like I'll wake up and somebody will have like an air purifier on Now. First, I think air purifiers don't work, so there's that. But I just don't like the noise so I turn it off, right. So I'm just kind of having a reading time or whatever. She goes and throws a load of laundry in, right. So I'm sitting in our living room trying to have quiet time and I hear clankety, clankety clank. And then I'm like, well, let's do devotion.

Speaker 2:

And in my head I'm just hearing clankety, clankety, clank and I finally was like hey, I know you're trying to do, you got a busy day, you want to get that laundry going. I said, but I really like you know she didn't call me a princess, but she might well have and I finally had to I stopped and I said no, I want you to know that you're kind of dismissive of me when I said that it's really actually important to me, like I'm trying to do a devotion with you. I'm trying to read this book but every word I'm reading I'm hearing clankety, clankety, clank and my blood pressure's going up. And you know, I thought you need to show her that same courtesy, because she has things that I'm looking at and I'm like dude, that is so silly, but it's like important to her, you know, and to show that same courtesy, you know.

Speaker 1:

You know, seth, I'm going to tell you now because I was embarrassed to tell you before, but now I'm not embarrassed. So I'm going to tell you what my thing was, because it aligns. Mine was putting the dirty clothes in the hamper, not on the floor in front of the washer. I was like you don't even have to take them out of the hamper, just take them, put them in the washing machine. So it was both around the washer and the dryer for you and I both, there we go.

Speaker 2:

So we know where our priorities are, but if you push too hard you end up doing all your own laundry.

Speaker 1:

And that's a really bad plan. No, I don her, I'd hire somebody. She said no, you're not. But anyway, listen, let's talk about a couple of things before we end.

Speaker 1:

One of them is really important to all of us, especially guys, is intimacy, and the lack of intimacy really isn't a symptom. And it is a symptom, it's not the problem. And even for me and I'm going, I'm going to keep this PG. But you know, we know how guys are built, we know how ladies are built. You know you can't just say, hey, I want to be intimate with you, like it starts in the morning.

Speaker 1:

It starts early, through the devotions, through helping, through talking, through conversation. You know that's where intimacy starts, and so I just want to encourage you that it's not just about the sex. That's not what I'm saying. It's about they want to feel seen, they want to feel important, they want to know that you're a person that's interested in them and that they're being heard, that they matter and you work up to the relationship physically, intimately, right, and so that's a really hard thing for guys to understand and to get, and I just not to go too deep down this path, but I promise you it will look much different if you'll spend time, you'll talk about their feelings, you will hear them, you'll be empathetic, right, and just make it a point that it's not just about the actual act, but it's about them as a person. And it's difficult sometimes.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it takes a real investment and it takes a shift of time commitment. Right, it's easy to start in the morning and just get off to running. Right, get your quiet time, get your workout in, get your calls made, drink your coffee, go, go, go and try to reconnect at the end of the day and you can be completely emotionally spent if you're not careful. But a little bit of wise.

Speaker 1:

You know what's kind of dangerous in this. You listeners that have children, that they're watching the drift also.

Speaker 1:

They may not be able to articulate it in a way, but when your daughter sees her mom sad or your son hears the tension in the kitchen when y'all are talking, they're absorbing these messages about marriage and about manhood and about the example that you're setting. Like you don't realize it, but they don't miss anything and I used to think they're not even listening. They don't even hear it. They don't miss anything. They may be playing with a toy, but they know intuitively, they see what's going on. They're taking that in. You're leading by example. They're watching these things.

Speaker 1:

I just want to caution you to be careful during the drift, because your kids and it's kind of sad, because they're the victim of something that they can't help and we, as parents, our responsibility and obligation is first and foremost to our wife, to our children, to lead by example, to do a good job. They're forming their habits, their propensity to marriage by the way they see you doing things, and so we have an awesome responsibility to lead properly in this and not make them victims of your circumstances. For sure, for sure.

Speaker 2:

Well, we probably ought to bring this one home how do we pursue our wives without kind of quitting the thing we're called to right? It's both right. We want to win at work and win at home, as Michael Hyatt likes to say, and you know, and winning our wife's heart is a big deal. Like what are the first? Where do we start?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think, first of all, it's just with intentional conversation. Like I said earlier, that could probably be a home run for you that are looking for something to do intentionally. Just go in, turn the TV off, look at your wife and she's going to go oh, you want to do that and I said, no, I don't want to do anything. I want to sit here and talk to you and you're like what? Like I want to have a conversation with you. I want to know where you're at, where I'm dropping the ball, and I'll tell you.

Speaker 1:

I've done this periodically with Robin and it pays huge dividends to just say, hey, be honest with me, be candid with me, I want to serve you well. I know I'm a knucklehead oftentimes, but I really do want to do the right thing. That's my intentions and I know I get off track, but just help me. Don't ask unless you want to know, and don't sit there and defend your position, but just really reconnect and have an intentional conversation, and I would suggest that you do it proactively. Don't wait for her to bring it up. You want to go to her and ask her. What is one thing that I can do this week, maybe to make you feel prioritized, like what is one thing that would make you feel special and tell her you're not up to anything. You have pure motives. You're just wanting to reconnect in that conversation. That'll get you way down the road.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, the next thing that is kind of the evidence of that is, you know, be present. Not just available, but be present. I would say, get our digital consumption dealt with. Put your phone down, put it maybe in the bathroom.

Speaker 1:

That finds a problem, isn't it? And if it's not, the phone.

Speaker 2:

I go straight to the TV. Well, maybe I should watch something. Both of those are just me passively consuming information. And, of course, when we can get that out of our presence, because it does physically require being out of our presence, I think then I literally find myself well, what now? Am I supposed to just talk to you? Of course, what a novel idea. About what, About whatever? And sometimes it's a little clunky as you make that transition, particularly if you just grind and you get home. I have a very short commute and a couple days a week I work from home, so getting my mind to stop spinning around work and to engage in actual conversation. And then you know, when I know that I'm not doing it, well, I'll ask her something and she'll answer, and I will not hear the answer, no. Then you ask it again Exactly and she's like I already told you that. And I'm like, oh boy, I'm making an effort. You know I'm on the journey, but you know you're present when you're, when you're actually hearing what's being said.

Speaker 1:

Seth, let me tell you what Robin and I've done. This is not for everybody. You pick your own thing, what is good for you and your marriage, but this is just for us. It's worked well for us, and I know I'm old school, I know I am, but Robin and I have chosen to make our bedroom a sanctuary. There's no pictures of anybody in our bedroom but us. No children, no grandchildren. There's no TV. We've never had a TV in our bedroom in 45 years. There's no electronics. No one lays in bed and reads. No one lays in bed and looks at their phone.

Speaker 1:

My phone stays in the mudroom, turned off at night. Her phone is in our bedroom in case my mom were to call during the middle of the night. She lives on our property. That's the only reason her phone is in there. Never, not once ever, has she picked it up and gone through any social media. My phone is not in there. There's no tablet. There's no business conducted out of my bedroom. No calls, no coaching calls, no Zoom calls.

Speaker 1:

We do a lot of videoing at our house for commercials and I do photo shoots. Our bedroom is off limits. Nobody goes in there. That's our bedroom, it's our space. We don't argue in there ever. We argue in the den. We'll sit around the island in the kitchen or we'll go in the bedroom. I mean we'll go in the den and set up all night if we have to, but that's our safe place, right? And so you pick that out and that's really important to Robin. She's like this is our spot, this is our place. It's not to invite any of these other distractions in and you'll be amazed at the conversations you'll have and the level of intimacy is involved in your marriage if you'll put some type of boundary up around that.

Speaker 1:

But listen, what about bringing her into your mission? The things that I have fallen short on this as well. I get busy in my work, but she may not care about spreadsheets. She doesn't care about how you're going to get there exactly oftentimes, but she cares deeply about you. She wants to know what you're doing. Invite her in and ask her, maybe behind the scenes, like how do you see this? How can I make it better? What can I do? Some people don't want to be involved in the weeds. Robin doesn't in our business, but high-level things. I ask her what she thinks because she's my partner and I want to make her my partner and not just my spectator.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'm convinced that some of the stupid things I've done would have been prohibited if I would have actually asked my wife's opinion before I did a business deal, and I think sometimes they might have failed just to prove a point Like, hey, talk to her first, it's her money too. It's her time we forget we belong to them just as much as they belong to us, right, like they're way more than a spectator, as you said.

Speaker 1:

Hey, let me just be honest with you. She doesn't want to fight you, she wants to fight for you. And underneath all this exhaustion and her frustration, there's still a woman who's cheering you on and waiting for you to see her again. So if she says, hey, you work too much, she might really be saying I miss you and I don't know how to say that without sounding ungrateful. So this week, go out there. Maybe ask her tonight what's the one thing I can do to make you feel more seen. Or maybe schedule a 24-hour, no work weekend for the next 30 days. Leave your laptop at home, be fully present and let her know that she's still your priority. And I can't even begin to tell you the level of your intimacy emotionally, mentally, physically that will happen as a result of that. Rekindle that spark. Get your marriage back on a good track because she is your first priority and you want to make her feel that way. You guys have a great one. We'll see you next week.