ISI Brotherhood Podcast

140. A CEO's Story from an Affair, Loneliness, and Cocaine to Recovery, Gratitude, and Redemption.

• Aaron Walker • Season 2 • Episode 25

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This conversation first aired in 2022 and quickly became a listener favorite. We’re bringing it back because the honesty, hope, and hard-won wisdom in Patrick’s story continue to help new listeners every week.

In this encore episode, Patrick Lewis—President & CEO of Superior Rigging & Erecting Co.—shares an unfiltered journey of grit and grace: from a childhood spent working, to a spiral into infidelity and cocaine addiction, to rebuilding his life, relationships, and company. Patrick talks candidly about therapy, gratitude, forgiveness, and leadership—how guardrails at home and core values at work shape the people we’re becoming.

Content note: This episode includes discussion of addiction and suicidal thoughts.

What you’ll hear

  • Growing up fast: the discipline learned from early work—and the backlash when freedom finally came
  • Choices, consequences, and the long road back from addiction
  • Practical tools: therapy, gratitude, and forgiving his father
  • Parenting with love + guardrails
  • Scaling a business without letting money become the measure
  • Hiring for values and building a healthy culture

About Patrick Lewis

Patrick Lewis is the President & CEO of Superior Rigging & Erecting Co., a hoisting, rigging, and steel-erection company based in Atlanta, GA, and Orlando, FL. He started working for Superior at the age of ten and has watched it grow from a family business into an industry leader with over 370 employees. Before becoming Owner/President in 2001, Patrick served in multiple roles across the company. He attended Mercer University and earned his Millwright JATC in 1996. Outside of work, Patrick has coached Georgia Impact Fastpitch Softball, leading the 18U team to the 2018 PGF National Championship.

If this episode resonates with you: share it with a friend who needs hope, and consider leaving a review so more listeners can find stories like Patrick’s.

SPEAKER_01:

Discover the brotherhood that sharpens you. The ISI community is free for 30 days. Join now at isibrotherhood.com forward slash community. Hey Patrick, welcome to Nashville. Man, we're glad you came up. Drove up from Atlanta yesterday, and we had a great dinner last night at Jimmy Kelly's, one of my favorite restaurants here in Nashville. But uh it's pretty cool to meet with you in person. Um, you know, when I started thinking about our relationship and how we met, uh I think you heard, didn't you hear me on a podcast? Yeah, I did. About seven years ago. Yeah, seven, yeah, yeah, probably maybe eight now. Eight, yeah. It's been a while. It goes quick. And so you joined Iron Sharpens Iron Mastermind, and you called me and you said, Hey, I want to get to know you better. And uh you said some of those things that you're doing, uh, I want a part of. And so that was pretty cool. It turned into a friendship. Over the years, uh, we've gotten to know each other pretty intimately, uh, really gotten involved in each other's lives. And I was uh given a great honor. Uh last year, you asked me to be on your board of directors, and so I've enjoyed that process, and that helps me get to know you better. But I can't really say that's necessarily good all the time, though, because it gets pretty heated in some of those meetings. But hey, before we get started talking about a few things, I want to thank you. Uh I wasn't expecting this. Uh you gave me a hat, uh, fishing hat because I'm doing a lot of fishing right now, superior rigging, and that's really cool. But I wanted to welcome you to Nashville. And uh I brought a little gift for you as well. And so we're gonna we're gonna exchange exchange hats, and uh it's a Tennessee hat, and I thought it was appropriate. So roll time. Uh I just want to tell you welcome to Nashville. You can wear that with a lot of pride here in Nashville uh since we just had a really good weekend about a weekend ago. So I thought that would really warm your heart. So uh joined again. I was gonna get a goo goo and bring it also because Nashville's known for goo-goos, but I thought uh since we were exchanging hats, I would bring you a good one. I didn't even know it was funny when you got out of the truck and you handed me this hat, and I was thinking, oh, this is gonna be good.

SPEAKER_00:

So well, I appreciate you having me. And uh you know what? After 16 years of misery, you you guys deserve one good weekend. Yeah, so I'm happy for you. I'll I'll take this and uh do something kind with it.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm not too worried about the past 16 years, but this year I'm uh especially fond of. So hey man, thank you. Well, congrat congrats to your vols. Hey, let's dive in a little bit to uh you and your company. And superior rigging's been around a long time, and so 75 years. Uh we just had a big party and celebrated that. That was a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_00:

And uh tell us uh kind of how you got started in that because it's yeah, been a journey. Uh superior rigging started in 1952. There's a gentleman by the name of Ed Horn that uh started superior rigging, and it was really the only crane and rigging steel erection company in Atlanta at that time. And and my dad uh followed in his father's footsteps in Huntsville, Alabama, and he became a Union Millwright, which was a guy that works in the field, you know, puts in equipment, conveyors, alignments, those sort of things, and uh worked at Redstone Arsenal back uh back then. They had they built all the rockets there for the space program. And so my dad got got his start there. I think his rocket program started phasing out, didn't have a lot of work, and decided to move to Atlanta. So my dad and my mom jumped in a 1968 Camaro in 68 and moved to Atlanta, and he went to the Union Hall there and and um superior called the Union Hall for needed a guy for a half a day. And my dad took the job and and never left.

SPEAKER_01:

Isn't that amazing? Look look what happened. Like he took one job for a half a day and it changed uh the family tree. Yeah. As a review, we never know the moments that uh we're offered each and every day, how that's gonna impact our future.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Yeah, no, I think that's a great point. It's indicative of everything that we do that we we never know the direction that's gonna change in generations. But yeah, it definitely changed our our family tree and and worked his way up and and became uh manager of the field operations. And uh Mr. Horn, I only met him one time, but he would always tell my dad, I remember that day that that I met him. He told my dad that particular day again, said Charlie, I'm remembering you in my will. And so Mr. Horn unfortunately passed away in 1986. And in his will, he he left instructions for his widow to sell the company to the top four guys in the company. And so my dad was one of those four guys that that bought it from uh from Mrs. Horn in 1986. And about that time, I guess I was about 13. It may have been actually a little bit before that, before Mr. Horn passed away. I started working there when I was, I believe I was 11 or 12. Did you want to work there at the Well, for your dad wanted you to work there? I was forced to work there. Okay. So I I was I was like every summer till from then until I graduated high school, the day we got out of school to the day we went back to school, I I was at work. I had a checking account when I was 11 years old. I had to save my money, I had to buy my own school clothes and uh yeah, I had to grow up pretty fast.

SPEAKER_01:

How much of that you think played into the level of success that you've been able to experience a fourth several?

SPEAKER_00:

It definitely helped. It set the groundwork for discipline and those sort of things, but it but it also set up a lot of bad decisions later in life when I got some freedom to to kind of relive a childhood that maybe was taken away from me. So I think there was pluses and minuses to it. Uh and I'm I I paid the price later for the success. But are you bitter about that? Are you bitter about losing some of that childhood?

SPEAKER_01:

I lost some of mine as well.

SPEAKER_00:

So Yeah, I don't think bitter is the right word. I think I was wounded through a lot of stuff over that time with that relationship. But um, there was definitely a lot of good that came out of it. But I'll tell you a story. So when I the first week I worked there, I was I got my paycheck and it was like$3.35 an hour. And minimum wage was$3.65 an hour. And back then you had guys that would just mess with you all the time. So this one guy, Alvin Ashcraft, that ran our crane department, he he came to me and says, Hey, hey boy, how much are they paying you? So I said, Man, I'm making three dollars and thirty-five cents an hour. And he goes, What? He said, Man, minimum wage is$3.65. So he he opened up the white pages at that time. People don't know what is a phone book, and it says, You need to call this number. And it was the Department of Labor. You didn't call them on my dad. I did call them, yeah. Called them on your dad. Called them on my dad, yeah. I didn't know any better.

SPEAKER_01:

I bet that went over well.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, not so much. But I did get a raise the next week and I got back paid. So they made it, they made it right. But yeah, he wasn't happy with me.

SPEAKER_01:

That is so good. So when did you decide that this is going to be something you're gonna pursue, or did your dad decide that as well?

SPEAKER_00:

No, he didn't decide that. It was um the things Superior did, the problems they solved, the people that were there. I saw the passion early on for the brand and for the for the company, and it was something I wanted to be a part of. And I actually I told told Benny Tumlston, who was a president at the time, at a really young age, I was probably 14 or 15. And uh he was one of my dad's partners. I said, I'm gonna I'm gonna have your job one day.

SPEAKER_01:

How did you have that insight? I mean, were you did your dad teach you this? Did you just observe it? Was this something that was just innately in you? Like 14, 15 is pretty young. Like, how did you have that foresight to even think?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I I I think it's just part of M I DNA. Uh uh, I always, you know, I I think I'm an entrepreneur down deep. I you know, I strive for success. Uh um I strive to kind of pave my own path and do my own thing, but to to watch what was taking place in front of me and to see the opportunities that I knew were gonna be there. I wanted to make sure I put myself in a position to to expand on that. You were tenured at that point, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

You've been there five years. So so what did the guy say? You're like, hey, I want to be involved, and he says, Hey, stick around, kid. We'll see what we can do, or did y'all start to plan for you?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, no, there was there were no plans. Um, I don't really remember his response. It was probably a laugh a little bit at that time at my age. You know, I was I was I started out rolling a magnet around the yard picking up metal. So it didn't have to be a little bit of a couple of things. He's still around the crank. He is. I wonder if he's laughing now. No, he's not. We're actually really good friends. We probably talk uh two times a month. Oh, cool. And he calls and checks in. Kind of go fishing with me, yeah. That's good. Yeah, Benny was always, always good to me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

So uh what happened from there?

SPEAKER_00:

You get married, have a bunch of kids, uh, you get out of school. So I I graduated uh high school and I went got into the union uh apprenticeship program and was working at Superior, working in the field, and um at the same time was going to college at night, got married when I was 21. Um and then in I think in 1995, so I was about 24 years old, one of my dad's partners was retiring, and uh he was in sales and estimating there. And uh I called Benny and said, Hey, I I want to come talk to you. I was actually working at the Ford Motor Company. We were doing a change out over there. And so he said, Yeah, come on in. And so I walked in the door, I said, Man, I'm I I I want to apply for Dick's position. And he goes, What do you what do you mean? Like, you've only been in the field three years. I said, Yeah, man, I think I'm gonna be a really good salesman and and I want to move into the office. He said, Well, what'd your dad say about this? I said, I don't know. I hadn't talked to him about it. And uh prefer to keep it that way, right? So I want I want you to hire me on the merits of you knowing who I am and not not kind of who my father is.

SPEAKER_01:

And you were pretty confident from 14 all the way through. You're not void of confidence today, nut. Uh so is that something else that was taught? Uh did they instill confidence in you, or you were just so stubborn and so Yeah, probably a combination of all that.

SPEAKER_00:

I think playing sports for a number of years and competitive. I'm super competitive. I want to win. Um, but you know, as a child, uh nothing was ever good enough with my dad. So I was it was always pushed to to do more, to do more, to be better than what you are, which you know has has its pluses and minuses, but it definitely created a competitive streak in me.

SPEAKER_01:

How did you feel about that as a kid and as a young man when it wasn't good enough or he could have done a little better?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, it was frustrating, right? So I I I ended up giving up sports later because you just you get tired of hearing kind of all the negative things.

SPEAKER_01:

What would you say to young dads now with their kids coming along? Like where where do you uh where do you encourage them enough but not build them up to the point when they're really no good?

SPEAKER_00:

You're like Well, pray praise the effort, not the result.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

That's kind of what I tell you. You know, I coach I coach girls' softball still.

SPEAKER_01:

You're heavy in that. You won a World Series.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah, won a national championship. The one thing I tell tell the parents uh is just tell your kids you enjoy watching them play. Tell them you watch them, you enjoy watching them compete, praise the effort. Don't don't critique them. You know, there's a fine line. We want we want our kids to be amazing at what they do, but not at the expense of stealing who they are from them so that you you feel good about who they are.

SPEAKER_01:

What would you do with uh one of your kids if you had it to go over in regards to if you saw that it really they really weren't really good? Are you gonna encourage them to push through that or find another sport or quit altogether?

SPEAKER_00:

You know, quitting was never a big thing with me. Okay. And I probably r you know uh made a lot of the same mistakes my dad made with me. I I I was ended up we'll talk about this I'm sure at some point, was a single father, raised my three kids and and really kind of fathered my kids the way I was fathered. So that I'm sure they have a lot of wounds that that um hopefully I can help them heal at some point, continue to try to try to help them with that.

SPEAKER_01:

But um Do you want to take us there a little bit? Uh talk as much as you want about that. So you said a single, so you were married at 21. Yeah. Now in this conversation that you're single, um, you want to talk about that time?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. So uh married at 21, had three kids. Um, I think I had Morgan. Morgan's 23 now, so I was 25 at the time, and then I had another kid, Mallory, 13 months later, and then Bryant two years after that. Uh got divorced when I was 29. And, you know, at that particular time, I I had made a our relationship. It was my high school sweetheart. Um didn't really understand how to be in a relationship, honestly, at the time. And uh she's she got on a path of pain pills. I got on a path and and made a mistake and had an affair, and and so we we parted ways, and um her uh pain pill addiction ended up turning into to bigger, bigger and better things. So I I'd filed for custody and fought for custody of my kids for a number of years and then got them.

SPEAKER_01:

That's uh that's unusual for a dad to do that. What was going on in your mind there? It was like I got to get them away from her, or you just really wanted to have them yourself?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I just I wanted my kids in a safe place.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, with no no thought of how, you know, how the hell am I gonna do this? You're gonna do whatever you got to do to get these kids. Yeah, and that's what I did. So uh, you know, got them at a young age, raised them. Uh, you know, I was mom and set hard? Heck yeah, man. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I I had two daughters and a son. I didn't I didn't know nothing about even raising kids, much less about women or raising your still. Yeah, none of us do, but yeah, yeah. So uh, you know, my daughters start having periods and they got nobody to talk to, and they, you know, you're like, you're looking up all what do I say here, right?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So you get them grown. And uh, but before that, uh there were some real trials. Yeah. Uh I'd love for you to dive in a little bit because you you kind of went off on the deep end a little bit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And uh what did that look like? Yeah. So when I got when I got divorced at at 29, um, it w it was a shock. It it was a shock to the system. I th I thought I had life kind of figured out, and uh, you know, I'd I'd own superior at this time, and I I had a wife and three kids. And partners. You had partners at the time. Yeah, I did. I had three partners at that time. So there was there were four of us originally. Originally in 2001, bought superior from from uh the two guys that owned it at the time, my dad and Benny. Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

So you got three partners, your partner just got a divorce, and whole world comes crumbling down.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, with a lot of decisions that I made. Uh, you know, I moved into an apartment in Atlanta, I'm by myself, I'm not with my family, and and made a lot of bad choices and um ended up using cocaine and uh started out just as a you know, a little going out, a little pick me up, and the next thing you know, it turned into a full-blown habit and addiction. Where I my my typical day was this, okay. I would get up in the morning or I'd go to work, and about 9 30, 10 o'clock, I'd leave the office, sign out to go to a job, and I'd go home and I'd sleep for about three hours because I had slept all night. And uh so I'd sleep about my three or four hours, I'd go back to the office, I'd get my work done, I'd leave there, I'd go to the gym for some reason, uh, work work out about an hour, and then I'd go to my drug dealer's house. And I'd buy another eight-ball of cocaine, and I'd go home and I would use cocaine all night long by myself. And I'd stay up all night, and that that pattern repeated itself.

SPEAKER_01:

Patrick, what that let's let's go back to that apartment. You're sitting there with this eight-ball of cocaine. Yeah. And what are you thinking about? Like, is this just yeah, yourself? It's it's numbing.

SPEAKER_00:

Um for sure. Hey, like I know better than this, but you continue to do it. Well, you had no comfort in your life, right? Like you, you, you, you know, I I told you I had an affair, so every friend I had left me because they were all married, right? And their wives didn't want them to have anything to do with me. I mean, I was ostracized. And so you had nothing but work. So you're in isolation. Yeah, you're in isolation. I I had, you know, before that, I was going, I was big into the church. I I had a men's group that I was involved in, and and there was a guy in that that group named Larry Nails that I looked up to immensely. So deacon in the church, and and man, I sought advice from him consistently. And so when I got divorced, I called Larry, trying to talk to him, trying to get some godly advice from him, and and he didn't take my call. And he didn't, and he didn't, he never called me back. Um, so you know, that that hurt. A lot of pain. Yeah, a lot of pain. So yeah, there was a lot of times, you know, bitter all did that make you bitter at the church? Uh I wouldn't say at the church. Made me question, you know, whether that was the right path. Whether, you know, people that claimed to be meant a god were really meant of God. Did you call him out on it or not? No, I never never got the chance to speak back with Larry. He ended up passing away a number of years later, but um I was never really in a position till probably the last five years where I felt like my life was in a situation where I was in any position to call anybody out for anything with the decisions that I'd made. Sure.

SPEAKER_01:

So you're sitting there every night doing this eight ball of cocaine. What period of time?

SPEAKER_00:

Probably went on for about three months.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh and who's got your kids?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, so the the the weekends that I would have my kids, I I would not use them. So at this point in time, I was only getting my kids every other weekend. I gotcha. So when they would they would come, I was dad, and there was none of that that went on. But as soon as they left, right, it was back to despair, it was back to doing the habits that I do. And and one particular Friday night, a buddy of mine went out and used cocaine all night. We came back in. My son's birthday was that Saturday. It was his it was his second birthday, and he had a big birthday party planned at his mom's house. And I think we rolled in four o'clock in the morning or something, and I looked at Sean and I said, Hey, you know, when you leave in the morning, make sure I'm up. Uh, because I gotta I can't miss my son's birthday party. And I I think I woke up that Saturday night about 11 p.m. Dozens of missed calls on my phone. I was lowest of low that I've probably ever been on. I missed my son's birthday party. Got up, went to a little diner there off Ponce Avenue, and uh got a little something to eat, and I came back and crashed again. Cause I mean, I hadn't slept in three months. You know, I'd sleep two or three hours a day. And I woke up Sunday night about six o'clock to just beating on my door, and it was my sister and my mom, and uh they were expecting to find me dead in there. So uh finally got up, opened the door, and they said, Grab your grab your stuff, we're taking you somewhere. So they took me to a rehab facility, and uh that was humbling. We walk in there and they they take your shoelaces, they take take your belts, take everything. Because I mean, I had some suicidal tendencies when this, you know, this low part of my life.

SPEAKER_01:

Thoughts are going through your head. Yeah, hey, let's just end it, let's be done with it. Sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. So um I'm probably rehab's largest success story. I think I spent three days in there.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Aren't you supposed to stay several months or something? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. And you were there, the stubborn again, right? You're like, no, I got this.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, it it's uh determined. This is gonna sound terrible. My my thought at the time, and when I saw, and I hate to use this word, but this was my thought at the time. When I saw those people in there, I said, that's not who I am. It's not who I'm gonna be.

SPEAKER_01:

And it was a real stark realization. Yeah, and that you were going down a bad path. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And I knew I had to get out of there. And I just my decision was made. Like I didn't, I didn't need any more therapy coaching and go for some drugs. I was done. I was finished. Yeah, get me out of there. So man, thank God. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank God that doctor, like, I mean, it took a little selling. I had to sell over the course of about two days to get out of there.

SPEAKER_01:

So hey, I'm Aaron Walker, founder of Iron Sharpens Iron. Every successful man needs a band of brothers to push him to grow spiritually, personally, and professionally. Each week I meet with like-minded Christian business owners in our mastermind groups. We share wisdom, tackle challenges, and we hold each other accountable to grow, not just in business, but in life. Don't do life or business alone. Join the brotherhood that will challenge, encourage, and sharpen you. Visit isibrotherhood.com and take the first step today. So what happened then? So you go back and uh you your do your partners know what's going on at this point?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, one of them did. He did? Yeah. My my mom and dad had to call him because when they took when they took me to rehab, you know, they they didn't there was no way to call anybody. I couldn't make phone calls out, so they had to go meet with them and give them give them a little advice. And you know, they were supportive. Right. Um so that you know, thankful for that.

SPEAKER_01:

So were you successful with this? Uh you you were good? And you go back and what transpired then?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I I just didn't go back to using, right? I still had the depression, I still had, you know, suicidal thoughts. And I I had those thoughts for God, probably up until about three years ago, where I I'd wake up every single morning, and the first the first thought that would go through my mind every day is today the day that I pull the trigger. Like that that was the first thought every single day.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, that like gives me chills when you say that. Uh you've told me that in private before, but uh so how did you deal with that then? So now it's not a thought, now you don't deal with it.

SPEAKER_00:

And so Yeah, what changed for me was practicing gratitude. Is just as simple as it sounds. Um I'd spent the bulk of my life, I had all this success, and the business was doing great, and we were growing and growing into areas and new markets we'd never been into, but I was miserable, right? I had no peace in my life, I had no happiness in my life. People out there think money makes you happy. No, money doesn't make you happy at all. You know, that's that's a choice you have to make and the work you have to do internally.

SPEAKER_01:

But just a little bit more, like if you're making X dollars and people out there listening to this right now are thinking, yeah, but if I get to this, then I'm gonna be happy. What do you say to those?

SPEAKER_00:

Because you're Yeah, that was my thoughts all along, right? If I if I make this, then I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna be able to get this thing, and this thing's gonna make me happier, these clothes are gonna make me happier, this house is gonna make me happier, or this car is gonna make me happy. And at the end of the day, all you're doing is filling a hole in your stomach and in your gut. And you put that in there, and within days, you're right back to feeling what you felt, and then you're trying to chase the next thing. And it's just a miserable rinse and repeat cycle.

SPEAKER_01:

Not nothing ever gave you the gratification, satisfaction, no, filled you up, right? And we're talking to a guy that's that's had multiple houses, yachts, yeah, you name it, places all over the world, right? Yeah. Still, you still were depressed, you were you were still down because you were chasing the wrong thing.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Dealing with a, you know, a lot of a lot of past wounds in my life and that where you never felt secure, soothed, and safe. And so you're constantly striving, trying to find those things that you're not giving yourself. Let's talk about those wounds. What wounds are we talking about? Oh, I think as as most men or a lot of men, hopefully not all of them, you know, we all have daddy wounds. We all have, you know, depending on how we were raised. Like I said, I I was I was raised to nothing was ever good enough. You know, you know, it it was um constantly berated, constantly uh talked down to. Um, I thought about this last night. I don't know if it's even appropriate to say, but my but it it stings because I uh it still carries over with me. I've forgiven him, but I I used to hear this this comment a lot, and it he would tell me the best part of you ran down my leg. Really? Yeah. Wow. And so, you know, when you hear that sort of stuff, you have no self-confidence, you have no self-belief in yourself. So there was a constant strive, and I think kind of propelled some of my success, right? I'm gonna show him, I'm gonna at some point he's gonna have to tell me he's proud of me.

SPEAKER_01:

You're working all your life to get your dad to go, Hey, I'm proud of you, Patrick. Yeah. He didn't say that.

SPEAKER_00:

No, I still had.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. How do you deal with that today? These people that are listening to this interview today and they're out there doing the same thing. How do you cope with that?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, um, I did a lot of therapy that helped me understand that he he just didn't know any better. It was his experience and and his his children. You gave him a pass, but that still doesn't give me a Well, I'm not I'm not giving him a pass. I I I had I had to forgive him, which then would allow me to go work and create the things that I needed to create in my life to give myself the things that I needed to give. You know, when I first started going to therapy, the my therapist would go, Well, you just you need to learn to love yourself. And I go, Well, tell me how to do that. So I can't tell you how to do that. Well, if you'll just give me the steps, I I'll I'll go make that happen, right? And so it took a long process of of letting go um of the things that had been done to me, forgiving him for what had been done to me.

SPEAKER_01:

Did he ask for forgiveness? No. So you just chose to forgive him? He didn't even deserve forgiveness.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, but forgiveness is for for yourself. Okay. Right? I don't I don't think we forgive to to give that to other people. Right. That's a gift we give ourselves to free ourselves of the pain we're dealing with.

SPEAKER_01:

Because bitterness is its own prison. Yeah. And you're the one suffering. Yeah. Right. He's probably not even thought about it. You think about it every day.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, he he probably hasn't thought about it, but at the same time, he's living in his own prison. Because he won't say it. Yeah, he he won't say it, but he's also miserable because he hasn't done the work to to to love himself or to forgive himself or to even forgive his father. I don't know what that history is there. Obviously, he died when I was a little young man.

SPEAKER_01:

Do you know the place that you were at when you forgave him? Was there uh was it over time? Was it immediate? Was it just a choice? What does that look like? Yeah, it was listening right now. Like, I don't even know how to forgive somebody.

SPEAKER_00:

It was over time. It it came through a lot of writing, journaling, writing down things that had happened, things that I remembered. Um, and just kind of wrote these things down, yeah, bad things in your life.

SPEAKER_01:

You think it's important to write those?

SPEAKER_00:

I do, yeah. So it kind of for me it was the only way I could get it out because stuff would just kept popping up, right? So I would write it down, then I would be forgiven for that, and then maybe a couple weeks later your memory would jar something else, and then you'd kind of recreate that same anger or bitterness towards it. So for me, that was the way I got it out was to write it now. Forgive it.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. And so it's just a process. Yeah. And today you feel pretty good today about it. You're like, hey, it's not ideal, but I can move on. That's not the filter I run everything through too long.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, for sure. No, I'm I'm extremely happy with my life. I wish things had been, you know, I don't want to give a bad pick, right? My my childhood, and I just say this in therapy, it wasn't terrible, but you know, then my therapists go, well, yeah, it is, but because this is how it turned out for you. But, you know, so do I wish there had been some things that were different? Yeah, but I'm I'm appreciative of it now. It's it's helped mold who I am today, and it's you know got me through to a place where I have peace and happiness and direction in my life and what I'm trying to do.

SPEAKER_01:

Do you regret some things the way you did with your children? You had your children, you were a young dad, you were by yourself, you were trying to do the best that you could do. Like there's a lot of people out there today, 55% of all marriages end in divorce. What do you say to those people so that they don't have a sense of regret? Because I know personally you and I've talked about that.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I don't know that I have any magic words to say so they don't have a sense of regret. I definitely regret a ton of stuff with my kids, a ton of things that I did or said. I mean, crap, I you know, I I'm still not perfect. I I I blew up in my son this past weekend and said something I shouldn't have said to him. And, you know, the the part of the growth happens and and the wound's still there when I s when I said what I said to him. But you know, I was able to pick the phone up the next day and say, hey, uh, I need to apologize to you. So you did? You went back to him and apologized. Yeah. How do you receive that? Um he received it well. He actually, you know, it was cool. It was a good moment. He apologized back to me for what he said that kind of triggered me to go, but you know, it's not for his place. He should he shouldn't even have to apologize to me because I shouldn't have never taken it there.

SPEAKER_01:

But certain amount of that's normal, wouldn't you say? Wouldn't you say some parenting things getting on your kids, maybe not in the manner you did it because I know you got a little bit of a temper and it get riled up sometimes. Yeah. So not necessarily what you said is how you said it.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, 1000%. Yeah. I mean, we we want the best for our kids, and and you know, we see them maybe heading down a path that we know isn't gonna serve their life. Um, I think looking at it through a different lens and looking at it through love and trying to guide them through love versus um guiding them through anger sometimes because they're not doing what you want them to do, um, which is what I experienced the whole time growing up, which is part of you know why my journey was the way it was, because I was spent my whole life because I I got set up to do what somebody else wanted me to do. And so the whole life you never figure out who you are because I didn't understand that I could do and make decisions for myself and what I wanted. So I think leading with love with our kids, allow them to be who they are, but try to put guide rails in in place through love will help them understand that it's okay to be who they are. And so I strive to do that. I'm not perfect with it.

SPEAKER_01:

How do you support them with that? Your kids are in their 20s, and so one or two is in college. Uh so two are out of college now, so I got one left. One left in college, okay. Uh is he transferring to Tennessee? No, anyway, let's uh so how do you support them like pragmatically? What do you do? What are the steps that you do? What do you say to support maybe some of their dreams?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I I just try to talk to them about what it is they want to do and not tell them, oh, well, that's a dumb idea, or you shouldn't do it. Well, what if it's a dumb idea?

SPEAKER_01:

What if you think it's a dumb idea? What do you do?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, but uh you know, like so so Morgan, my oldest, went to LSU, you know, said, Hey dad, school's not for me. She dropped out of school. Do I think that's a dumb idea? I think that's a dumb idea.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Right. But I can't put what I want on her to try to stop her from doing that.

SPEAKER_01:

I can't say anything. I didn't even go to college. Yeah, I didn't, I didn't finish either. I'm still saying you're so Morgan's not right. You and I didn't go and finish. Yeah. So we're we we did okay and you've done exceptionally well. So Morgan's probably gonna do fine.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I think Morgan's still gonna do great, you know. So you know, Morgan's Morgan's an artist, and that's what she wants to do. And and you know, I got a couple of choices I can say, hey, hey, don't don't pursue your passion. Like, go do something else and do that on the side. Like, really, what I'm telling her is who you are is not good enough. And so it's it's taken a lot for me to get to that point to be able to say those things to my kids because I used to tell them, you know, I wanted them to do this or be successful at. This and this is not my choice and who they want to be in life. All I'm trying to do is love who they are.

SPEAKER_01:

That's really good. So bring us up to speed on what Superior looks like now. What does the future look like? What is your vision? What are your hopes and desires? Uh, what does your life look like today? What what are some of the things you're doing that's exciting today?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so superior has grown uh immensely since 2001 when we took it over. We now have two locations. We got an office in Atlanta and an office in in Orlando where we uh we serve our markets and and um really been focusing lately on trying to grow our crane and our rigging side and and really just trying to kick ass in the two markets that we're at. And you know, hopefully the next five years we'll stretch that out to a couple more locations. Maybe we need you here in Nashville. Well, I mean, you know, maybe if we can get you to go back to work and hit off the lake a little bit, we'll make that happen.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't know if you're gonna succeed if you're looking at me to do that. I'll enjoy fishing. But uh yeah. Um what about for you personally? What are some of the things you do that you enjoy? I know you and I get to fish together, son, and that's a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_00:

So Yeah, I was fortunate um through through my success to create an opportunity at uh of things that I want to do and the times that I can do them in. And I I have a place now in Alamorata, Florida, that uh I get to spend a lot of time in and get to do a lot of fishing and a lot of boating and and really just you know get to spend time with my friends.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, you're supposed to be fishing today, but you came here, and I was so honored and grateful that you came here instead of out on they're probably killing them today, too.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, they're so we got some clients out fishing today, and uh I got I got an early report, it's a good day so far. So they're hopeful that they continue to hoping it would be bad so that you wouldn't feel so bad about me. No, man, I'm excited to be here. I get I get to fish enough, but being able to sit down with you and and get to to tell my journey and my story, and hope hopefully it you know something resonates with somebody that can help them and and bring them out of a out of a place.

SPEAKER_01:

I want to focus a little bit on the business side of your success because we have a lot of entrepreneurs that follow us. And so, what is some advice that you would give to some of the entrepreneurs today? What are some of the things that if you could wave a magic wand, you could go back and change fundamentally how you did some things, or even emotionally how you processed some things? Is it all about the growth?

SPEAKER_00:

Like give some advice to these guys. It's all about the people and it's all about setting your expectations. Um, so some things I wish I'd have done a lot earlier were were set systems and processes in place, and so everybody knew the guidelines to operate in. And one of my biggest mistakes as a businessman and entrepreneur were not setting firm expectations of this is how I want something done, or having a system and process in place to do it. So when people would then go do whatever it is that they were doing and it wasn't what I thought I wanted it to be in my mind, then I would get, you know, upset, and maybe sometimes they might get a little wrath as I've learned. But they can't see your mind. They can't see my mind. That's not what the biggest lesson or I I've I've taken away and tried to learn over the last little bit is really trying to communicate more about what I want and how I want and and what's and not not that I don't I don't want to make they make it sound arrogant, right? It's not just about what I want, but as a leader of the company and the vision and how we want to operate, kind of setting that that standard.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. So systems and processes are mandatory. What about like core values and understanding your mission or purpose uh and what you how important is that to you and for Superior?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, you know, I was fortunate when I took over Superior. We we had a group of people there that had been there a really long time. And we never had core values written on a wall. We never had it written on a piece of paper, it was never talked about. There wasn't there wasn't a mission. It was this was families that had been there forever. So I I was fortunate to have those type people there to help us get to that success. But as people start retiring that have been there a long time, now all of a sudden you start losing your culture because it's different people coming in that don't have 20, 30 years there, that don't bleed the brand like you guys bleed the brand or those that retire from there. So um putting core values in place and a mission and preaching the vision and continuing to communicate that is super important. And I've, you know, quite frankly, I haven't done a phenomenal job of that up until maybe just recently of trying to get those things into place and getting the right team because any business is just the people. You got to have the right team, the right people on the bus, and they got to know where you're going.

SPEAKER_01:

The relationships matter most. Yeah, absolutely. Right in everything that you do. So what else would you do? So um how would you approach the business? Would it be to establish a benchmark? Uh would you have goals? Would it be just to make all you can make? Uh how would you look at it differently from a growth standpoint?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I don't think, you know, my goal was never to make all we can make. I want to make sure our our clients have a kick-ass experience, you know, dealing with us. And we want to be the best that we can be in what we do. And and a lot of our job is is solving problems, is putting puzzles together. And how are you going to move X from Z or how are you going to build this? And that's where we came up with the slogan, making the tough look easy, because that's that's what we do. Um, but you know, one thing is I would have done a lot different is continuing to have a pipeline of people out there continuing to interview. One of the things I didn't do a good job was having having applicants lined up, right? It was uh only when you know Jimmy walked out the door or retired that, oh shit, I got I gotta find somebody now. Right. So I I think the one thing um is continually hiring and don't just say, hey, we don't have a job for you. If you find good talent, bring those people in, find a spot for them, and and let them be the kind of fuel to the rocket ship and what you're trying to do from a growth standpoint.

SPEAKER_01:

So make the investment before you need it, right? Yeah, for sure. It's like prepare them, get them ready. I like that. Uh getting raising people up, getting prepared, right? And then go out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And Superior hasn't done a good job. We're like, we're we're just in the kind of the stages of remote.

SPEAKER_01:

I know you're I'm on the board, Patrick. Yeah, I know you. Yeah. The uh yeah, but we're getting a lot better. Yeah. Way better, right? And fundamentally, you've got this process of systems, the mission, the values, you've got everything lined out, right? Now you're ready to push the gas again.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, but the key to that, right, was bringing in some people that are really good people that could help me that would that would challenge me. Right. And had people to willing to go, hey Patrick, I know what you've done here has been really good.

SPEAKER_01:

Let's talk about that. You're not the easiest person to challenge. So how do you how do you subject yourself no to those people? Like, because you like people with courage that'll stand up and tell you the truth.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I'm actually more easy to challenge than most people think. I want to be challenged. Um, it's the people that don't challenge me that probably don't turn out well. You uh lose respect for success. Sure. Yeah. I want candor. I want people to tell me what they think. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

People do it in different ways. You and I are very similar. We like people to just tell us straight up. But this is the way it is. Everybody's not like that. So how do you adapt the way you receive things from people that don't have the same personality?

SPEAKER_00:

I've had to grow through some of that, but I I I try to be open with my communication of what I want and really kind of say I I I want candor from you. I I had a guy, uh, one of our employees, I was at a meeting the other other week in Austin, and he sent me a text and and uh this guy that doesn't report to me, but he just says, Hey, Patrick, uh I I got a question. I was wondering if you would entertain it. I thought, oh boy, where's this headed? Right, it was on text. And um, I said, Hey, I'll I'll uh I'm I'm in this meeting as soon as I get out in about 45 minutes, I'll call you. He goes, Man, I wasn't expecting a call, but that'd be great. So I call him up and he says, I said, Hey, so what's the question? He goes, I I just want to know what do you value most in an employee? Oh wow, that's a this is a pretty big question, right? Uh candor. He was like, Candor. I said, Yeah, simple. Candor, I I I want the truth. I want the truth all the time. And uh, you know, he said, Well, wow, that's that's interesting. So we talked about it a little bit. And I said, Let me let me give you a couple examples. And Mallory went to work there with my my middle child for a little bit. And and one of her tasks that her boss had her doing initially out of the gate was interviewing people at the at Superior and interviewing them to understand what they do, how they go about it, so she could really kind of learn the business. And there was a handful of people through that process that halfway through the conversation, when they found out she was my daughter, completely changed the interaction or said afterwards, Well, I wish I would have known you were Patrick's daughter because I would have answered those questions differently. Yeah, but you didn't want them to know. We don't want that. No. Right. So what I want is people that it doesn't matter who it is or who's in the room, be willing to say what you feel, be willing to give your opinion because it is valued. Right. It's it's when you don't give it that I kind of lose respect for that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

We got to be careful with our personalities. I know I'm a little bit older. I'm a lot older now, but used to the people would be very candid with me. And my reply sometimes was pretty vicious. Yeah. And we build reputations of not presenting a conducive environment that will allow feedback. And we got to be careful with our personalities to allow them to say it, bite our tongue. I know I've seen your face so red, that vein pop out on your forehead. It's like, uh-oh, I hope he doesn't pop. Yeah. Like give them some space, right? But I think it's valuable what you're saying to everyone listening out there right now is you can approach it differently. We all have different styles and methodologies by which we deliver the truth. That's really what you're looking for, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, but you just you just said something key that people need to pay attention to. You got to make it safe for them to do it. And uh, you know, I struggle with that at times, right? It's it's but you got to bite your tongue because they may give you some advice or opinion that you just think isn't it?

SPEAKER_01:

Years ago, I remember calling you on the phone because I got the other side of the conversation, and I called you and I said, You cannot rip their heads off. You cannot do that. You gotta bite your tongue from it. And I'll have to say, you've really, really grown through that. So you're doing a really good job.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, you you've been instrumental in that, and I just want to thank you for being a mentor to me and pouring into me for the last five or six years, like you have, and challenging me to be a better, be a better boss, a better father, and a better man. So you know, who I've done, who I am today has been a lot of of what you've poured into. I appreciate you saying that.

SPEAKER_01:

Patrick, if people want to reach out and they want to learn more about you, superior rigging. I know you got some really exciting things on the horizon. Is there a website that would be easy for them to go to? How can they contact us? SuperiorRigging.com uh is our website.

SPEAKER_00:

We're on all the social media pages. We um put out some really good content on on uh Instagram. I think we even have a TikTok, which I don't understand a lot of TikTok. We have never even been out. Um yeah, so uh I think we do Twitter, so you can reach out to us on any any there. Then I also have some personal pages. If people want to reach out to me personally and and and talk, would would love to do that. Cool.

SPEAKER_01:

Patrick, you're a great friend, you're a good man. Uh you're running a very successful business, and I'm very humbled that you came to Nashville today to do this interview. And thank you for sharing this time with us.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, thank you for the invite.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you, buddy. We'll see you. See ya.