ISI Brotherhood Podcast

145. You Don't Have to Face Life Alone: The Value of Male Community.

• Aaron Walker • Season 2 • Episode 145

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We’re revisiting a conversation from last year that speaks directly to one of the most common excuses men carry: “I just don’t have the bandwidth.”

In this episode, the focus is on why meaningful friendships rarely happen by accident—and why waiting until life falls apart is far too late to start building them. When work demands and family responsibilities dominate the calendar, relationships are often postponed. But real brotherhood is formed long before it’s needed, through consistency, commitment, and showing up even when it costs time and comfort.

The discussion highlights how connection among men grows best in natural, shared spaces rather than forced or overly formal settings. Training together, playing a round of golf, serving at church, or committing to a structured brotherhood like ISI all create environments where trust develops over time. These connections don’t stay confined to one area of life—they influence character, faith, decision-making, and even career direction.

At its core, this episode explores what separates acquaintances from true brothers. The men who know your full picture—home life, pressures, blind spots, and strengths—are the ones who can offer real insight, challenge you when needed, and stand with you through both wins and setbacks.

If you’ve ever told yourself you’ll focus on relationships “when things slow down,” this conversation invites a different perspective—and a better way forward.

Key Takeaways:

  • Why brotherhood is worth the investment
  • Moving past isolation and self-reliance
  • Understanding trust and openness in male friendships
  • Creating space for relationships in a full schedule
  • Using community as a tool for growth
  • Simple, actionable ways to build strong bonds

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SPEAKER_00:

Have you ever felt like you didn't have time to have friendships? Listen, I spent 20 years without close friends. Today's episode, we're going to talk about the value of brotherhood and what those relationships can mean to you personally. We're going to talk about making time for those relationships because none of us think we have time, but I promise you it's going to pay off in spades at the end. Then I'm going to teach you how to leverage those relationships for growth for you personally, professionally, and spiritually. Can't wait for you to tune in. And I'm pretty fired up that you're here today. Welcome to the ISI Brotherhood Podcast. What a great day it is in Nashville. Hopefully it's beautiful for you as well. Seth, how's it going?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, it's going really well. Excited to be here talking about this topic today with you. And by the way, for once, it is beautiful here in southern Oregon as well. So I just want to give a shout out when it's due.

SPEAKER_00:

Six days of the year. I think it's that's correct.

SPEAKER_01:

We call it summer, but it's not a good thing.

SPEAKER_00:

We got the whole uh continental U.S. uh covered here. You're on one coast, I'm almost on the other. So we got everybody in between. So I'm excited that we're able to talk to these guys today. But beautiful in Oregon today. That's what I love to hear. Send me a picture because I'm not sure uh that I've seen too many sunshiny, beautiful days in Oregon.

SPEAKER_01:

You're hurting me now. We had whiplash, actually had like five feet of snow in one week, ended up up in the mountains, and then it was literally 80 yesterday. So, you know, you never know what you're gonna get.

SPEAKER_00:

You have sent me some pictures out there, man. I've never been, but it's beautiful.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, it's not like you don't have an invitation. Let's go.

SPEAKER_00:

I know, I know. We need to do it. Well, today, though, we're gonna be talking about investing in brotherhood. This is, without a question, my favorite topic: male relationships. It's something that's radically changed my life. We're gonna dive into this topic, and uh, I don't think it gets nearly enough attention, quite honestly. I think that men really need deep and meaningful male friendships. And it's something that I didn't have early on in my career. First two decades of my career, Seth, I didn't have any of that. I was a Lone Ranger. I was gonna solve every problem on my own. But I really have found out that in a world where busyness and surface level connections really dominate our time, authentic brotherhood is rare. And I've seen this over and over. I've got the privilege of coaching hundreds of guys around the world and having guys hundreds and hundreds in the mastermind. And I have seen this to really be rare, authentic brotherhood. But it's uh absolutely, I think, essential for our development, for our growth in every area of our life. And I think we're gonna take a few minutes to explore how these friendships really shape a man's character because we know there's nothing more important than our character, how it can also strengthen our faith, and how it can even influence us on a great path to success. So, hey, let's uh let's jump in, let's talk about this a little bit because I think it's something that's not talked about enough.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, let me throw a question at you right out of the gate. Come on, so you know, we're talking about male friendships here, and it kind of implied in that is like, okay, as men, uh we need friendship with other men. But I I want to take a step before we get into that and say, as opposed to having friendship with women, right? Sure, sure. Or as opposed to the way that women have friendship with other women, there seems to be a difference. There's something about men and our challenges with connecting with other men that seem to be rather natural. Um, what what are your thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I think it is natural for there to be a challenge because we're male chauvinists, a lot of us are alpha male. We don't want anybody to know that there's a challenge. We don't want anybody to think that we're gonna be transparent or, you know, vulnerable with them because that feels kind of icky, you know, with guys are like, man, we're gonna get in there and talk about our personal life. And I was raised under, you know, a father that had that pretense. He was like, you don't tell anybody anything. Like, you don't share anything. You don't want any man to ever know that you don't have it figured out. You want to fake it till you make it, you want to get out there and have that veil up where men just think you've got it all together. And I was raised that way. So for the first 20 years of my career, I didn't tell anybody anything. I barely told Robin anything, much less another man, until I really discovered what real male friendship was about and the value of authenticity and being transparent in the right setting. So let me let me start out by saying that. I think it's imperative that it's done in the right setting. You you can ruin yourself being transparent and authentic with the wrong people.

SPEAKER_01:

I agree. Yeah, where there's no, there's no trust, there's no context, there's no shared values, it actually becomes dangerous, right? Uh it's funny, I'm thinking about a verse in uh in Psalms where uh it's written, you know, where the king or the leader was about to like share all of the pain and agony he was going through. And he said, wait, and he just kind of had this check in his spirit. He said, That would be a betrayal, right? There's not everybody that needs to hear all of our stuff, but there are certainly people who are worthy of us opening up to, and it's and it's really a privilege, it's an honor to be able to build a community, find a community that you can do that with. And and part of, you know, before we dive much deeper, I want to also, you know, think about, I think this might also be a little bit of an American thing. I'm not certain because I'm only an American, I'm nothing else. But like I know, for instance, in um Australia, they have a tremendous bro culture to the point where I've heard that one of the common issues they wrestle with is the women, the wives, are often feeling like they're isolated and left uh alone because the guys are so tightly bound together. And, you know, I don't, I've not been part of that tribe. So I don't know what they're talking about and what that what that is like. But I'm wondering if part of this isn't how we roll as Americans, you know, like this individualism, this independence thing.

SPEAKER_00:

I don't know. Um like you, I've always lived here and I've really not been involved in that. We'll have to ask uh Jeremy Stritten. You know, Jeremy's been in ISI for nine years, and he's our brother from down under. He lives there. And so we maybe should ask him. I've never asked him that question. I'm gonna see him next week at our live event. Let's do it. And so I'll be excited to uh talk to him. But a lot of you listening right now, you're like, well, what is the problem? Like, I don't even understand what the problem is. Why are you even talking about this? I think that the lack of strong male relationship often leads to the thing that I'm the most afraid of, and that's isolation. And isolation is the enemy to excellence. And if you want to go far in this life, you've got to do it in community. I think God created us to be in community, and isolation is a terrible thing. And Seth, I don't know about you, but when I get in isolation, all of my problems magnify 10x. Like I'm in my own head. I'm like saying these things and they get worse and worse the more I'm in isolation. It can also affect us with emotional suppression. Yeah. And I've seen this firsthand because there's things that's happened to me in my life that I did pull back, and I was intentionally in isolation. And the emotional suppression that I had as a result of that uh is frightening. And I don't want to go back there again. Yeah. And then the last thing, the reason that I think that we need to talk about this, defining kind of the problem, is that there's a real lack of accountability with all the things that we do today. And I know a lot of guys are resistant to accountability. We're gonna talk about that in a few minutes. But I think that without meaningful connections, men can really struggle silently with the stress, their identity, and whatever purpose that it is they were created for. So hindering this personal growth and spiritual maturity is something not to be taken lightly. We've got to really think through the effects on us by being in this isolation. And so that's the reason that I'm so excited to be able to talk about this today. Besides, I love to talk about relationships. It's my number one core value. Relationships matter most. And that's the reason that we're diving into this today.

SPEAKER_01:

I love it. And I think one key thing is that I don't consider this to be a go with the flow kind of topic, meaning left to our, I think, our natural devices, whether that's cultural, whether that's just the role that we find ourselves in as leaders, uh, I do think we tend towards isolation rather than community. And unless we have this kind of this intentional intervention that we really believe, uh, despite the fact that sometimes we don't feel like it. We don't feel like opening up, we don't feel like revealing that next layer. You know, uh, I just happened to have our um ISI Brotherhood meeting today, and I was the guy in the middle. And, you know, I had to push myself to talk about the real feelings, the talk about why it's important to me, reveal things that I don't talk to with other people. But the cool part was, you know, some of those guys have been in there with for five years. Now, in some instances, they're like, hey man, we've heard this before in a good way. And I'm like, what's your point? You know, we just jest it back and forth. But the other is they know me well enough to give me that kind of advice. Uh, and it feels safe for me. And if if actually I come away feeling energized because not judged, because when I'm when I'm left in my own head, as you said, feeling those emotions, you know, there's things that uh I'm disappointed in, results, uh, things I can't solve that if I'm left to my own, I I could end up carrying around shame. I could feel disempowered, I could feel like it's gonna define me forever and I feel stuck. You know, but get a little bit of light on that. You know, it's been said, and I'm not talking about moral issues here. I'm just talking about issues. You know, what what what lives in the dark dies in the light, right? So you bring your issues to light around your brothers, and all of a sudden you just, you know, you feel liberated.

SPEAKER_00:

Seth, you said something that I don't want us to gloss over that I think is really vital to this conversation. You said they said, we've heard this before. I think it's important to build that trust and that camaraderie with guys over a period of time because they see a theme. Yeah. They have context to the conversation. They know about your wife, your family, they know about your grandkids, they know about your financial wherewithal, they know about the different visions that you have, they know your superpowers, they know your kryptonite, they know your blind spots. How vital do you think it is for other people to know that to help you make a good decision?

SPEAKER_01:

You know, I think that there's there's there's two ways to make a decision. Uh one is uh based or a recommendation, one is based on um principles, and the other is based on context. Right. And one of the dangers around gurus and principle-based everything is, you know, everybody's got this drive-by solution to your complex problem. You're like, oh, well, it took me 12 minutes of stretchy thought to think to how to identify the problem, but but your principle is just going to be this magic bullet to alleviate that. Pretty rare that that happens. It is sometimes. Sometimes it's just that obvious. Somebody from the outside can can can call you on it. But more often than not, you know, for somebody to weigh in at that level, they need to know your background, your hopes, dreams, fears, issues, what you've tried before, um, how you're wired. They have to, you know, kind of this phrase, call you to your best self, but it kind of implies that they know your best self a little bit. And so to me, it's it's hugely important to uh have that trust because you just weigh people's um insights differently when you know that they've done the work and they've invested in the the friendship, their motives. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

How does it feel to you to be on those calls? You've been in ISI eight or so years now, give or take. How does it feel to be at that level of vulnerability with these 10 guys in your group? Like it's still difficult. I I I get that, because you know, there's a certain level of like, man, we want them to know we're crushing it. But when you're not crushing it, for example, how does that vulnerability feel to you and how beneficial and helpful is it when you do get it out?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I would say it's uh at first it's challenging. And and I'll tell you, um, you know, I think we talked about previously that relationship comes through disclosure, right? And if so, if I'm gonna hold my card so close and never disclose anything, then I'm not actually getting that relationship that I was looking for. So at first, you know, I have to overcome that natural uh temptation to self-diagnose and then just come to the come to a call and report out. Well, here's the problem, here's the solution, and I'll keep you updated. Well, that's not really inviting people in. So what I've had to learn to do is push myself to share the thing that I might not want to share, and then stop my mouth from operating for a minute and say, What did you guys hear? Give me some feedback or ask a specific question, right? So, so I'm also communicating to those guys uh by my action and also by my questions, like I I want to bring you something that is um sensitive, right? Important to me, so that I can make a difference, or sorry you can help me make a change because I don't want to stay stuck, right? And so it's a it's a two-way street, it's a relationship.

SPEAKER_00:

Here's the real value that I found for me personally. Those 20 years that I didn't really trust anyone else and I was in isolation doing business, I had some level of success financially. But the truth of the matter, there was some relationship capital that had been used in my family uh that I never shared with anybody that caused me a tremendous amount of agony and pain in later years. Yeah. And so the reason I really stress and encourage other men to be vulnerable is so that we really get down to the brass tacks, we get to the footing, and then we build the foundation, and then we build the structure. But if you never do that, it's always on shaky ground. Like we're building something on something that's false. And eventually it's gonna crumble. Scripture even teaches us that, right? And so we need to build things on solid foundations. You know, it reminded me I was on a phone call earlier this morning with a guy, and I'd never talked to this guy before. He'd followed me for about 10 years, and he was very complimentary of the things that we're doing, and I was very gracious. But then he went on to tell me all the great things that he had done, all the numbers of companies he had owned, and how good he was at this and good he was at that. And he just talked for 35 minutes about all these things. And finally, at the end, because I have had hundreds of men in the mastermind group, I knew a couple of the probing questions, and I finally got to the end. I said, Can I ask you some questions? And he said, Yeah. I said, Uh, how's your family life? And man, the phone got dead silent. He was like, Well, we're going through some challenges right now. I said, Yeah, anybody that runs this many businesses, you're not going to have a lot of time left for your family. And I can see where that would create some challenges. The conversation radically changed. It did a 180 from that point because I touched a nerve. I touched something that was important to him, but he never offered it. He didn't want to share. We would still be talking, even as we're speaking now, we would still be talking about all of his success financially and all of his companies had I not asked him that question, which inevitably is going to come up a pain point in his life at some point. That's why in ISI we have the five pillars. We want the whole man.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that's right. And so it's one of the things that's interesting is I've been in, you know, uh ISI, as you mentioned, for a long time. And and um I had a funny experience one time when I met one of the the our brothers at a live event. And he told me, he said, man, you you just haven't seemed very happy. And it really knocked me over because I'm generally pretty upbeat, positive guy. And I realized um in our in the context of our ISI relationship, I'd only talked about my bad news. I've only I only talked about the challenges. And so I had to learn to balance it out. Meaning, sure, you know, so you know, today I had the call. I'm like, hey, here's where it's going great. It's going great with my health, it's going great with my relationships. I had a few wins, but man, let me talk to you about the things where I really need some help from you guys. I I had to remind myself not to just obsess over this thing, you know.

SPEAKER_00:

That's a good word. Yeah, you don't want to be that wet blanket. You don't want to be the guy that sucks the life out of every conversation. And so here's the biggest challenge that I hear from guys today. And this was a challenge for me as well when I first started. 26 years ago, this year, I've been in a mastermind meeting every week for 26 years. It's radically changed my life. But here was my excuse. I don't have time. Yeah. I I would say I don't have time. And then I started sharing with other guys the people that I was in mastermind with, and I said, they're pretty busy and they make time an hour, hour and a half every week to be in these groups. Why do you not have the time? How would you answer that today as a person that had been in ISI for eight years when they say, I don't really have the time? What would you say to them?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I would say, you know, we always have time for things that are important, just period. We make time for things that are important. And, you know, I'll I'll be honest, I think there are times when in their moments are like, okay, I can agree with you. You don't have time. Sure.

SPEAKER_00:

This is a season.

SPEAKER_01:

This is a limited season, and you need to execute ruthlessly to get to the other side of that so that you do have the time. You know, and I've I've had things that I've canceled literally today that are important to me that I'm like, you don't have the time right now. You're going to be going through the motions if you participate in that because you've got other stuff that you're not getting done. And so we're all accountable, you know, um, to God and to ourselves to manage our time well. But but in our time, we have to have intentional relationships with other guys. I mean, we have a cultural issue. You know, if you look at television, it portrays men a certain way. Uh, it's been argued that our culture has become somewhat feminized, right? We're kind of seeing this moment where it's swinging a bit, and there's a fair amount of uh misunderstanding, maybe just even a lack of vision of what does it look like to have healthy male friendships? Is it is it do I have to have a beard and uh drink bourbon and drive a four-wheel drive truck and vote one way or the other?

SPEAKER_00:

Smoke cigars.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. Exactly. Uh do I have to talk about jets and Lambos? Uh or do I do I have to cry and you know, sip tea with my pinky high in the air? I mean, like there's both ends of that spectrum. And and for me, it's you know, it's it's people that are uh on the same road that you can, my dad used to say, you know, that run the race with you. You know, that they're they're running the race with you. That's what you're doing.

SPEAKER_00:

That's an important thing, is because oftentimes in these groups, I've gone in, I've been, you know me, I'm like, man, I'm all in or nothing. And I'm like, man, I'm winning, I'm crushing it. But there's other times that I've gone in there, it's like, hey, you know, my life's falling apart right now. I've got a daughter, you know, years ago, those that have followed me for any length of time know I've got a daughter that was facing a uh uh uh uh uh a liver disease and they gave her 90 days to live. And I'm like, hey, you go from high highs to low lows at those times. And here's the thing that was really valuable to me. If I had needed those relationships at that time, it's too late to build them when you need them. Agree. And so you need to invest in these relationships so that they can loan you their strength when you're down and they can celebrate with you when you're high and up. And when you get too big for your britches, they can call you down and go, hold on a minute. Let's not forget where these things came from.

SPEAKER_01:

I agree with that. And that's an investment. I I had an experience not long ago where I was at a at a trade show and I was inviting one of my friends, if he would would go there, and he said, uh, I've never been able to justify the argument. ROI on that. And I was just like, wow. But like to your point, when you invest in relationships and you have a need in the future, you've got the capital in the bank to draw down from. And if you don't make the investment, you'll come across as entitled and needy when you finally reach out and say, Hey, I need something desperately. People are like, Where have you been the last few years? Right.

SPEAKER_00:

You only call me when you need something.

SPEAKER_01:

And that's a that's a terrible place to that's a terrible feeling to feel like you're the guy that only calls somebody when you need something. Right.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, here's the thing, and we teach this a lot. And when uh coaching people one-on-one, I'm like, call a handful of guys all the time just to check on them. You don't ask them a question, you don't tell them you need to borrow something, you don't need a resource, an outlet, a networking. Like you just call and say, Seth, how's it going? How are the kids? How's your wife? How's things in Oregon? Is there sunshine today? I don't know. Something you need to ask them and just check on them. Oftentimes it's the other way. They do those things and they say, Hey, while I've got you, let me ask you a question. You're like, now we're getting to why you called me, right? Yeah. And so we need to invest in people genuinely because we really care about them and we're really interested in them. Then when it is your turn and you need something, it's a lot easier to get.

SPEAKER_01:

Not just when you have time. Like you didn't say, oh, when you have some time on your calendar that's not otherwise. Exactly. Make it make it a priority because you believe that the benefits there for you and your family.

SPEAKER_00:

I get this question also like, how do we balance that? It's like like when you have a young family and you got a new business and you're just starting and you're working 12, 14 hours a day. And like they say and they think, I don't really have time to balance friendship with that. And I would just encourage those listeners, and I know the feeling. Listen, I was in the grind for years and years, and I get it. I totally understand it. If I could go over again now, this is my 46th year being a small business owner, I would do some things differently because they're invaluable. Those relationships are invaluable. We're living our life right now. This is not a practice run. This is the real thing. This is we're going through it right now. And sometimes the journey is as good or better than the destination. And so we've got to enjoy the process. We can't miss the little Billy's ball games and Susie's piano recitals all the time. Periodically, it's okay. And I get that. But you're going to look back one day and you're going to have a pocket full of money and there's going to be a house full of strangers. And that's not going to serve you well. The same way with your friends. It's like, hey, where have you been? Like, we've been asking about you. You're grinding away, you're working all the time. Now you're ready for a relationship. They've already moved on most of the time. They've already established other relationships.

SPEAKER_01:

Or not, right? Or or they're or they're equally isolated and waiting for somebody to call them. And sometimes we can get a little aggrieved or like, why am I always the one that has to reach out? My wife and I have this conversation all the time. You know, feel like we have to be the ones to reach out, especially the people we want to hang out with, right? And that's not necessarily, you know, the right question. Um, you know, I think it's it's incumbent upon us to to see it as a priority, to, to make the outreach. And and also, you know, as much as I love peer groups, I love the ISI Brotherhood, you know, you need some people with skin on that you see regularly around town, too.

SPEAKER_00:

Like hug their neck and shake their hand and eat a meal with them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And you know, that requires some intentionality around calendaring. Like one of the things I do, I I think I've shared this, is we have uh guys that get together three days a week at my office to work out, and then we've added a fourth where we go jump in the cold river and then do a sauna. No, thank you.

SPEAKER_00:

Count me out on that one. I'm not I'm not gonna do it. You'd love it.

SPEAKER_01:

We were in 39 degrees not long ago.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, I couldn't do it.

SPEAKER_01:

But it's not that I love cold water, you know, it's that I realized uh it and it's not even that we're we're planning these deep emotional conversations. Uh we're just we're just spending time together. Some might even argue wasting time together, right?

SPEAKER_00:

It's not wasting time, I can assure you.

SPEAKER_01:

But even if it were, it would still be worth it, right? You know what I'm saying? It's this idea of uh sometimes we overscript it, like it's gotta be formal or it's gotta be intense. And it's like, no, man, sometimes with genuine friendships, you're just hanging out, you're just doing stuff together, right?

SPEAKER_00:

I got a buddy of mine, we rode to Chattanooga together, and I don't think we spoke. Uh he was having a difficult time and he just needed some time, and we rode to Chattanooga together. And it's like he doesn't have to perform, he doesn't have to entertain me, he doesn't have to ask questions, like just be in there. Some of the things that I have found have really worked well. Everybody's got a different list, but for me, it's being very intentional. We talked about that earlier. It's like, yeah, do it when you don't have to do it, and do it when you don't have time. Like, do it anyway, be intentional. And I think we got to do that consistently. Years and years I've had some buddies at our church, Alan Lindsay and Chris Freeman and Hugh Morris and some of those guys. Like, we talk all the time. Riding down the road, you know, I got five minutes, I'll call Alan or I'll call Chris and we'll we'll just talk, just catch up. Just hung up five minutes before this call with Patrick Lewis, a guy that we've been friends for a decade, and he just called just five minutes. Hey man, checking in. How's it going? Just like those are those friendships, and we've got to make time for that. So be consistent. Don't go off the rails and be gone six months, nobody's heard from you. The other thing is keep it real. And guys can smell it a mile away. Don't blow smoke up their rear end. I mean, be real with guys. And when you're happy, be happy. When things are down, say, I wish things were different, but right now I'm going through this challenge. I could use your prayers, I need your help. Uh, just as you did today on the call. Like some things are going good, some things are not going good. Just like I know I get the real deal when I'm talking to Seth because you're not going to patronize me.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, thank you. And and I would say there's a few practical things I would encourage people to do. First is look around you. Uh, where are their hobbies that you can use as an excuse to create genuine male friendship? Where is their um commitments, like going to the gym? Can you invite somebody that you consider a brother, a friend that would join you with that? Uh, are you part of a discipleship group or a community group? Discipleship groups, particularly with uh the church you're in, which I love. Uh uh Robbie Gallaty and the crew there at um Replicate uh are big on discipleship groups where there's, you know, men getting together, gathering around scripture, right? Or community groups, which tend to be a little bit more around married couples getting together with other married couples from church, doing life together. And then, of course, there's something like Iron Sharpens, Iron Brotherhood or other peer groups that are very intentional and structured, uh, mostly around business and faith, right? There's a wide range of options, and I've just give given about half of them, that if if this becomes a priority for somebody, at least one or two of those are well within reach in the near term, if if they just take action.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, guys do things together. It's easier to talk when you're, you know, playing golf or you're lifting weights or you're doing a cold plunge. Oftentimes that's been some of the best discussions rather than just face-to-face, because that even feels more difficult. But if you're doing some of these activities together, it's a lot easier to be vulnerable.

SPEAKER_01:

For sure.

SPEAKER_00:

The final thing I wanted to talk about a little bit is kind of leveraging community for growth. And we've seen this in ISI. I've seen it personally, even out of ISI. You build trust. That's the most difficult thing to come across. And after you build trust with guys, we got guys in the mastermind today that had no community whatsoever. Today, one of them is my CFO, and he does an amazing job. Another guy that I've coached for 11 years, Brett Barnhart, you know, he was a young guy, 29 years old. I think he's 41 now. Coached him every week for 11 or 12 years. And today that guy is phenomenal in the connections, the networking that he can do with people, the resources that he can provide. It's crazy to see these guys. And it's all because of these relationships that he's built. I invested a lot of money with two guys five years ago I didn't even know. And it's because I learned to trust them, I like their product, and I'm willing to invest. So, what about you? What have you seen that's been able to leverage your opportunities? We'll call it financial opportunities, even for growth by being involved in a community.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, uh, you know, I do believe to some point that that maxim, your net worth is your network. Um, just being available, uh, asking people at the end of a call, is there anything I can do for you? Always being ready to make an introduction, doing those introductions quickly when somebody you have a thought, write it down and follow through because people really appreciate that you will you'll go out of your way to spend a little relational capital, to say a good word for them, to weigh in on their behalf, make that introduction. And then next time you know they need something, presumably they know whatever service we offer. I happen to be in the world of mergers and acquisitions and strategies. So, you know, I'll help people any way I can with, and uh, you know, those things tend to come come back around. And and to your point earlier, if if people feel like you're being transactional or programmatic about it, it doesn't come off as authentic. You got to genuinely want to help people, right?

SPEAKER_00:

You know, relationships trump everything, also. It doesn't matter what you do, that relationship is gonna be the thing that's gonna trump everything. Uh someone recently asked me to help them with a job application, and I knew the owner of the company, and I made a call, and within 48 hours, they had an interview. And there's hundreds of applicants for this. Now, they're not gonna hire this person if they're not suited for the job. But the point is they at least got a foot in the door because of a relationship. If I hadn't invested 26 years with this person, he wouldn't have done that for me because he knows that he can trust me. I'm not gonna burden him all the time with that kind of request. It's just you build this trust and people know your heart. They know who you are. But a lot of people ask me all the time, introduce me to this person or that person, and I'm like, I'm not gonna do that. Yeah, like that's always a tough one to say. Right, of this relationship, and I'm not gonna do that. You have to be in fellowship with people on a regular basis and they earn your trust that you can be able to do that.

SPEAKER_01:

I love that. Well, you just hit on the there is an economic uh part, a commerce part, like doing business in God's economy that does happen in relationship, and that's huge. But kind of bringing this to a close, big A, you know, I think we can agree that when we're in fellowship, when we're part of a brotherhood, it really does strengthen our character, strengthens our faith. That very word iron sharpens iron comes from that biblical, you know, maxim, right? And prioritizing our friendship pays off in a ton of other areas. You're gonna have people who listen to you talk about one area, but ask you about that thing you didn't talk about. Check in on that thing that you were struggling with in the past. They have enough context to make sure that you're a well-rounded person. You're not just celebrating your business wins or your whatever wins. And then, you know, this community also helps us grow. We all, we all want to push to make the most of the gifts we've been given. We all want to reach for our potential. When we're part of a community, that just that extra measure of accountability helps, you know, just the reality that I've got to get on the phone with some of my peers and I've got to get real makes me get on my horse a little bit and try to go get that thing done. So I think there's a tremendous uh amount of reasons why everybody that's listening to this podcast should focus on who are those male friendships and how are they going to intentionally invest? And if they feel like something like ISI is gonna be important and a catalyst to them as I do, uh just visit isibrotherhood.com, get connected. We'd love to hear who you are. If it's a good fit, I think you find a great home uh with us. Big A, any any kind of parting thoughts as we go?

SPEAKER_00:

No, man, that was really good. I appreciate that. Relationships are important, relationships matter most, and I'm so thankful that you tuned in with us today. So we'll see you again next week.